One Asma' - chapter 1

Chapter 1


"Along, ummi nak hantaq along masuk sekolah Nik Madihah tu." Kata-kata yang lahir dari bibir ummi menguatkan lagi perasaan seorang Iffah untuk menyambung pelajaran di bumi Maahad Muhammadi Perempuan, meskipun tempat tersebut jauh nun di negeri pantai timur sana.

Berbekalkan pertolongan daripada anak angkat mak tok yang menetap di Kelantan, urusan pengambilan borang diuruskan mereka. Akan tetapi, pemohon perlulah menduduki ujian kemasukan kerana sekolah tersebut merupakan salah sebuah sekolah kawalan.

Maka, berangkatlah Iffah dan keluarganya ke negeri Serambi Makkah dari Pulau Pinang untuk ke ujian kemasukan tersebut. Setibanya di sana, mareka bertemu dengan Cik Za dan Pak Cik Kamil terlebih dahulu. Mereka berdualah yang menolong urusan pengambilan borang dahulu. Mereka ditunjukkan lokasi sekolah tersebut supaya mudah bagi mereka untuk ke sana pada awal pagi keesokannya.

Keesokan harinya, mereka pergi ke sekolah tersebut pada awal pagi. Namun begitu, cuaca amat teruk sekali dengan hujan lebatnya dek kerana musim tengkujuh. Mujurlah Iffah sempat tiba tepat pada waktunya sebelum ujian bermula.

Ujian kemasukan itu terbahagi kepada dua iaitu ujian bertulis yang merangkumi pengetahuan am agama Islam serta ujian membaca dan hafazan yang merangkumi bacaan al-Quran dan hafazan surah-surah lazim.

Menurut taklimat yang diberikan kepada ibu bapa, hanya 10% sahaja pelajar luar negeri yang akan diambil untuk setiap kemasukan dan yang selebihnya diutamakan untuk pelajar dari Kelantan.

Iffah berharap agar dia diterima untuk kemasukan kali ini. Jika tidak, dia perlu ke SMKA (P) Al-Mashoor. Bila difikirkan kembali, semua sekolah yang dimohonnya adalah sekolah perempuan termasuklah Kolej Tunku Kurshiah. Tekadnya untuk lari dari lelaki amat tinggi sehingga semua sekolah yang dimohonnya adalah all-girls schools. Dia ingin lari jauh dari Penang, lari jauh dari scandalsnya, mencari dan meneroka dunia baru di luar sana.

One Asma' - prologue

Prologue

Sedang seorang anak gadis melayari keindahan malam, daya ingatannya mengimbas kembali kisah perjalanan hidupnya. Akan tetapi, dia sedar bahawa banyak perkara yang dia tidak mampu mengingat kembali. Barangkali memori tersebut tidak begitu penting lantaran dipadam dari ruang simpanan. Hati kecilnya berbisik untuk menenangkan jiwa yang bergelora.

Memikirkan kembali waktu-waktu yang dilalui, terasa waktu yang pergi begitu cepat berlalu. Sungguhlah yang dikatakan bahawa semakin bumi menghampiri kiamat, semakin cepat masa berlalu. Baru sahaja terasa seperti kelmarin hari raya korban disambut, kini seminggu lebih telah berlalu.

Sesekali, jarinya bergerak di atas skrin telefon pintar melayari media sosial untuk mengurangkan kebosanan. Satu per satu gambar di Instagram ditiliknya. Setelah bosan, dia beralih pula ke Facebook. Dibukanya profil sendiri untuk menukar gambar profil. Setelah semuanya selesai, dia membelek profilnya yang baru diubahsuai.

Tiba-tiba, matanya terpaku pada album gambar yang memaparkan wajah-wajah insan yang pernah mewarnai hidupnya. Memorinya terhenti di suatu tempat yang begitu istimewa di hatinya. Tempat yang telah menjadi saksi gelak tawa dan tangisan mereka untuk menuntut ilmu dan mencari erti kehidupan. Bibirnya menarik senyum segaris. "Apalah yang depa dok buat la ni agaknya?" soalnya hati kecilnya.

TATBILB 1

MY VERSION OF TATBILB 1

So, today i want to talk about my current crush number 1. Lets call him Zac Efron (not real name).  He is my course mate for the past 2 years since we are both pure biology students. Hopefully we will be parted ways in our 3rd year so that i can forget about him. :)

I get to know his name during our field trip to Mukahead at the end semester 1. That was because I was the one in charge to give out the room keys to other students. So, from the list, I got to know his name. I don't really like to know other people plus i am an introvert person (i guess so). I prefer to mingle with my small group of friends. Before that, we played the mafia game together as a group. I was one of the mafias that time. Before the game start, his friend, lets call him Noah Centineo (not real name), asked "are u rose?" and I was like "yup, that's me". and the game began. at the end, the mafia team won and I managed to protect my title till the end without getting caught (double jerk eyebrow). So, be prepared if u want to play mafia game with me.😉😉

As far as I can remember, I only talk to him once for the past 2 years. What a shy girl. That was because he asked me to look after his phone while he went into the sea for completing their group assignment. And after they had finished, I gave him his phone "here u go." That's all i said. u so funny la girl (laughing hard at myself).😅😅

After we finished the field trip, we had a test about the whole thing that we learned during the field trip.  on that day, after we finished the exam, his friend, that Noah was sitting behind me. he called me from the back. I turned to him. he said "Zac Efron called u". I turned to look at Zac who sat at the far corner of the hall. He was talking to his other friend as usual. What's wrong with this guy? Does he even knew that i had crush on his friend. I hope not. So, I just called it a day since we could enjoy the semester break fully and the tiredness from the trip didn't disappeared fully.

For the past 1.5 years, I always take a look at him and admire him from far away even when he was so near. Btw, as far as i knew, he has a lot of secret admirers. Lucky him. I tried my very best to hide myself from his line of sight since I don't like to be noticed by others. Furthermore, I don't like people to stare into my eyes since I worried that they get to sense whatever that I tried to conceal from others. I also don't stare into other people's eyes unless for important reasons. By the way, I'm not like other girl who managed to find someone on SNS, so until now I didn't find any of his SNS. It is a bit creepy for me to know that girls managed to find even little secret about someone they admired. I prefer to live my life as freely as I can and enjoy every moment that i have. 😏

I hope that I will not be in the same class with him anymore for the next 2 years so that I can forget him. it is better for me to focus more on myself. i am hoping he will not be reading this. For the rest of the story, i'd rather treasured it by myself.

 Best of luck to u Zac Efron and hope u lead a good life. 😉

peace y'all..

LOTSOFLOVE😍

SCLEROWHAT? PART II

Scleroderma, also known as systemic sclerosis, is a chronic and rare connective tissue disorder. Worry not my friends. This disease is not contagious, infectious or cancerous. So, you won't get this from me. The exact cause of this disease is still remain a mystery to this day. But scientist and medical researches still working hard to find those determination. It is known that this disease develops from overproduction of collagen but what triggers the overproduction of collagen in the body? (I didn't take any collagen product or other beauty products btw).

Scleroderma's signs and symptoms vary, depending on which parts of the body are involved:

• Skin. Nearly everyone who has scleroderma experiences a hardening and tightening of patches of skin. These patches may be shaped like ovals or straight lines, or cover wide areas of the trunk and limbs. The number, location and size of the patches vary by type of scleroderma. Skin can appear shiny because it's so tight, and movement of the affected area may be restricted.
• Fingers or toes. One of the earliest signs of scleroderma is an exaggerated response to cold temperatures or emotional distress, which can cause numbness, pain or color changes in the fingers or toes. Called Raynaud's disease, this condition also occurs in people who don't have scleroderma. (During high school, i always brag about how my hand cold when the weather is scorching hot. I thought it was a cool thing since I'm different from others 😌😮)
• Digestive system. In addition to acid reflux, which can damage the section of esophagus nearest the stomach, some people with scleroderma may also have problems absorbing nutrients if their intestinal muscles aren't moving food properly through the intestines.
• Heart, lungs or kidneys. Scleroderma can affect the function of the heart, lungs or kidneys to varying degrees. These problems, if left untreated, can become life-threatening

Since scleroderma can take many forms and affects so many different areas of the body, it might be difficult to be diagnosed. Myself had been misdiagnosed for about a year and half. During that time, I was diagnosed with various problems like muscle spasm, gout, AVN (avascular necrosis), frozen shoulder and vitiligo. Luckily, I get to be diagnosed correctly after that or else it might get worse than now. 

Doctors will always ask for blood test and urine test on every appointment. It is actually quite troublesome to drew blood from my body since the skin is hardening with minimum twice injection to collect the blood. I also had undergone chest x-ray, MRI, kidney ultrasound and echocardiogram (as I can remember since I've done a lot of things). Alhamdulillah praise to Allah. So far so good. All I need to do is maintaining this from not getting any worse. It will be better if it progressed towards a better condition. 

Having illnesses can give direct impact on mental health. Denial, anger and frustration are common in someone with chronic illness. Having support and understand from family members and friends are very important. Joining support group also can help by sharing experiences and feelings with each other. Currently, I still didn't found any support group in Malaysia, so i joined the USA support group. There are also doctors in the support group that always give us new information about new founding on recent research. I wonder how many Malaysian have scleroderma because I never heard any. Even at the hospital, I didn't found anyone that have the symptoms. Maybe they went on different day (if there were any). 

So, I am very thankful for those who were with me during ups and downs till this day. Love You All. 

~End of Sclerowhat?~ 

SCLEROWHAT?

Have you ever heard the word "scleroderma"? I'm sure that many of us have never heard that word. Neither do I. The first time i heard that "word" was from a dermatologist at General Hospital Penang on June 2018. I was having a medical appoinment that day due to my vitiligo problem. Parts of my body had been depigmentation (skin lose its natural colour) for quite some time since December 2016. So, going to the GH was a last resort when the condition continue to get worse. 

After having an examination by the MO, she went straight and called the specialist. He came to the room and informed me and my father, who was accompanying me that day, that I had a rare auto-immune disease called SCLERODERMA. We were stunned at first hearing that weird name and even having difficulties to mention it properly. My brain tried to find the right word. Secloderma? Scleroderma? Meh, so hard. I thought that i just need to googled it later. The doctor asked me to undergo chest x-ray right away since he worried that it would attack my lungs already. He also mentioned that this rare disease could harmed my internal organ. And i was like "okay, I'll do the reading about this sclero-whatever on my own."

As we were heading back to my hostel (btw, i'm still an undergraduate student in USM), i googled through the internet searching for the disease. Bbaamm. Reality hit me hard at that time. I was thinking about my future. All i saw at that time was darkness ahead of my teenage life. Is there still any hope for me to recover completely from this curse? What in the world is scleroderma? 

SCLERODERMA is an autoimmune disease characterized by skin hardening and thightening of skin and connective tissue. Autoimmune diseases are illnesses that occur when the body's tissues are attacked by its own immune system. Scleroderma results from an overproduction and accumulation of collagen in body tissues (who wants collagen can get it from me. i wish i can give you some 😝). Collagen is a fibrous type of protein that makes up your body's connective tissues, including your skin. Doctors aren't certain what prompts this abnormal collagen production, but the body's immune system appears to play a role.

Scleroderma complications range from mild to severe and can affect your:

• Fingertips. The variety of Raynaud's disease that occurs with scleroderma can be so severe that the restricted blood flow permanently damages the tissue at the fingertips, causing pits or skin sores (ulcers). In some cases, gangrene and amputation may follow.
• Lungs. Scarring of lung tissue (pulmonary fibrosis) can result in reduced lung function, reduced ability to breathe and reduced tolerance for exercise. You may also develop high blood pressure in the arteries to your lungs (pulmonary hypertension).
• Kidneys. When scleroderma affects your kidneys, you can develop elevated blood pressure and an increased level of protein in your urine. More-serious effects of kidney complications may include renal crisis, which involves a sudden increase in blood pressure and rapid kidney failure.
• Heart. Scarring of heart tissue increases your risk of abnormal heartbeats (arrhythmias) and congestive heart failure, and can cause inflammation of the membranous sac surrounding your heart (pericarditis). Scleroderma can also raise the pressure on the right side of your heart and cause it to wear out.
• Teeth. Severe tightening of facial skin can cause your mouth to become smaller and narrower, which may make it hard to brush your teeth or to even have them professionally cleaned. People who have scleroderma often don't produce normal amounts of saliva, so the risk of dental decay increases even more.
• Digestive system. Digestive problems associated with scleroderma can lead to acid reflux and difficulty swallowing — some describe feeling as if food gets stuck midway down the esophagus — as well as bouts of constipation alternating with episodes of diarrhea. 

to be continued...

p/s: please do drop any question or suggestion or anything in the comments below. critiques are also welcomed to improve my writing skills. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION & TIME. 

REFERENCES 

Mayo Clinic. (2019). Scleroderma - Symptoms and causes. [online] Available at: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/scleroderma/symptoms-causes/syc-20351952

William C. Shiel Jr., F. (2019). Scleroderma Diagnosis, Treatment, Causes & Symptoms. [online] MedicineNet. Available at: https://www.medicinenet.com/scleroderma/article.htm#what_are_medical_treatments_for_scleroderma